It’s always been like this. The pro reviewers get wined and dined by the publishers and consider themselves part of the industry (Dorito Pope!), so it’s not in their interest to rock the boat. The days of renegade and experimental reviews are long gone.

Is his name really Tim Blog?

That’s just how clever he was, silly.

Greenland, except the Greenlanders are twenty foot tall trolls that can bring down F22s with thrown boulders.

Search your feelings, Laurence.

Yeah, but he negotiated a percentage of the box office when nobody else believed in it.

I’ll just let wasps buzz around my face until they get bored. Unless you’re too near the nest they’re only going to sting you if you freak out and start flailing around.

It’s very much not just tips either.

It’s what data centres crave.

My hair was incredibly silky before that though - like a Timotei advert.

There’s a next gen Mario Kart with an amazing open world and even that feels kind of inessential after Mario Kart 8 nailed everything already. So I guess good luck to these devs!

Go to the park and watch kids play. They’ll be less overpaid and spend less time on the floor.

The worst thing about bleaching is that your hair always feels dry now.

When people call you a coloniser because you’re English, but actually your ancestors were relocated from their subsistence village life to big cities to work for pennies in textiles mills to make the landowners wealthier than ever.

Well, it’s the King’s Birthday tomorrow.

Yeah, but they saved a pathetic amount of money compared to what DOGE cost, so it was worth it already purely based on that metric.

The Bouys Are Back In Town should be a sea shanty, assuming it isn’t already.

The oligarchs know full well what’s happening, course. Before their strategy was in buying the narrative - e.g. scientists don’t all agree on this (cos we funded and amplified two crackpots), or “we’re actually still in an Ice Age”, or “how to reduce your personal carbon footprint” - but they also know there’s going to be a tremendous amount of anger and upheaval when critical systems of human society start to break down and they don’t want any of that righteous ire directed at themselves.