Damn forgot about cheap vending machine burgers. Moved out when I was 17, my roommate’s mom worked for a company “Canteen” that restocked something like these into vending machines, so we got a lot for free every week.

Ate a whole bunch in the first year. Eventually got really sick of them. Very believable you could grow a third ball from the preservatives. I’ll probably get some kind of cancer instead.

Good point, now do conjoined twins.

Somehow, people could still see in the dark.

I’ve learned more and am more confused. But please don’t explain further.

I’ve never seen this, but was one side playing baseball or some complex “umpire” joke.

That’s a hefty cock.

Because he’s in to that shit.

Only the man is supposed to enjoy himself. If the woman does, she’s a whore.

No, just Cheeto dust.

“Who wants scritchies!”

“Uh oh…”

Do you want the pizza to be Tombstone® brand?

What do you mean? I just failed to find the stick. I’m sure it’s out there somewhere.

Lucky for me whoever threw the first one has an identical stick.

This is why I maintain eye contact and growl a little louder each step they take towards me. When they get real close I show my teeth and start licking them. If they don’t get the hint I bark and snap at the air.

If they reach out to take my plate after all these warnings. I gobble down frantically on the contents, as they lift the the plate. Each bite making growling noises between breaths.

If they get the signal and back up without touching my plate. I’ll start wiggling my butt and continue munching happily well side eyeing them. If we make direct eye contact I pause and flash my teeth.

Addendum

“At the Subaru factory”

What about… 500 kgs of Bitcoin?

The sign for exit 99 is ready.

You mean, 66?

Um yeah…sure

frantic scraping noises